Month: December 2011

A Little Pop-Me-Up for Your Day

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*People are just the worst: In an attempt to help a fellow traveler in distress, Gary Koelling allowed a man from Switzerland to check into a hotel using Koelling’s credit card. The free check-in wound up costing Koelling $41,000 or six nights at a ritzy New York City hotel, plus incidentals at just over $6,833 dollars a night. What does this teach us about helping our fellow man? Stick to reviewed and established charities, and when in trouble as a tourist, contact the local police department or embassy. Especially in New York.[Gawker]


*Speaking of horrible people, if you’re wondering what to get those hated ones on you list, look no further: Gifts for People You Hate is bound to have the perfect present for the people in your life you just can’t stand.

*Facebook bought Gowalla. What does this mean exactly? It means that if you enjoy using Gowalla you have less than a month to continue doing so before Facebook completely shuts it down. Someone might want to let Mark Zuckerburg that a little competition is healthy. [CNN Tech]

*In other news, delightful science has attributed smoking cigarettes to loss of nipples. You read that correctly. Apparently there has been a correlation between smoking and nipples falling off on women who have had their breasts lifted (though I assume it could happen to breast lifted men as well). Smoking is bad for you, people! When will we finally get that through our thick skulls?!  Though, maybe this is giving hope to those individuals with superfluous nips, such as Lily Allen, Chandler Bing, and Krusty the Clown. [The Chart]

*The Muppets are pure good. Like, good for your soul good. In their latest flick they put on a telethon to help others and, so often, helping others in need is the message they send out (with the exception of giving a stranger your credit card. Duh.). While many would find this message of hope and brotherly love heartwarming, those [insert any expletive here] at Fox Business “News” slammed the Muppet creators and writers for having an anti-capitalistic agenda. Of course. Which is why all dvd sales and movie tickets were non-profit based. And why the muppets weren’t completely portrayed as rich in the film. Of course, now those last two points are just flat-out lies, like what spews from the mouths of the “reporters” on Fox. And I recommend not reading the comments on this particular article. You’ll waste both energy and brain cells. [Blastr]
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*Ugh. That last Pop Byte made me all cranky. Let’s bring a little joy into our hearts with a list of what gifts to get that comic book fan in your life! I, for one, would love a pair of Wonder Woman socks even though, let’s face it, she really got the short stick when it came to gadgetry. A lasso that makes people tell the truth?! Insert stalker girlfriend joke here. [GeekOut]
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Universal Studios Theme Park in Orlando is  kissing their Jaws ride goodbye, along with a few other historical notables. I hate to see Jaws go, it was a classic albeit expected, but what, pray tell, might Universal be thinking? Well, Stage Two, of course – Stage Two of Harry Potter the Wizarding Experience. Man, the kids that acted in those movies are set for life and they’re barely old enough to sophomores in college. [The Baltimore Sun]
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*J.J. Abrams, you’re tearing me apart! The newest Star Trek gunk churned out from the rumor mills is that Benicio Del Toro will not be the villain in the Star Trek sequel, but the evil character will, in fact, be KHAAAAAAN! I like Khan, I remember Khan, and to this day I hate the idea of bugs in or near my ears because of Khan. But I was equally excited to see what Benicio Del Toro could have done with a part in Star Trek. Good things we have, like, a million years for things to change before the movie comes out (May 2013). [Blastr]
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*And the Star Trek news doesn’t stop there. Peter Weller has signed on to act in the upcoming sequel right as Benicio  signed off. Can’t put a face to Weller? That’s probably because so few people have actually seen it: He was RoboCop. [Variety] I wonder if they’ll do those awesome RoboCop ads, too…
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*While we’re discussing aliens, do you think you might have ever been abducted? Than look no further – Here’s a list of six telltale signs that you’ve been taken by extraterrestrials at some point in your life! Be careful in your analysis, though. Many of these symptoms are similar to a hot night out on the town with your good friend Jack Daniels. [TheSmokingJacket]
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*Nothing makes me cringe more than “ironic fashion”…except for maybe ironic facial hair… Anyway, hipsters every where line up in droves each year to purchase bad holiday sweaters from Salvation Army, Buffalo Exchange, and other used clothing gold mines. I myself bought one from Tee Fury yesterday, actually, but it was a t-shirt of a bad holiday sweater so it doesn’t count (okay, fine, it does. Judge away.). Designers are now totally in on this trend and currently sell – at insane prices – horrible holiday sweaters. If I could ever afford anything from the Stella McCartney line, the last thing it I would purchase is an ironically bad sweater. Ugh. [Fashionista]
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*Sure, I can make Peking Duck, but it would be far tastier as a Peking Romulan Bird of Prey! Cooking needs no longer to be unGeeky with these fantastic Kitchen accoutrements. Be it an Enterpriseing pizza, darth cookies, or needing your drinks on the rocks with a Gotham feel, we’ve got your cocina needs met. Just yet another list of gift ideas for the Michelin starred nerd in your home. [Blastr]
*It amazes me how so many nations can remain so incredibly sheltered in today’s day and age. I take my technological outlets and freedom of press for granted far too often. I say this because Saudi Arabi has announced it believes giving women the right to drive will cause them to have promiscuous sex. I can’t even begin to crack jokes on this. Cultural differences are one thing, but oppression is merely oppression. Besides, it’s the back of parked station wagon’s that cause promiscuous sex, not the act of driving itself. [HuffingtonPost]
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“Admiting Defeat” is not the same as “Failure”

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Sometimes the odds are stacked so far against that success could only be secured through impossible means.

And sometimes that’s just not worth it.

I learned late on Friday afternoon, after two solid days of intense multi-tasking, foot work, and stress, that sometimes you simply cannot be successful. This was particularly frustrating because I always take pride in what I do. I always perform at the very best of my abilities. If I am not good at what I do, I work extremely hard until I am great at it. So it was disappointing to say the least when I ran my legs off only to be told at the end of the day on Friday “I have changed my mind. I want the moon rather than the sun. Tell me your plan for obtaining this by the end of the evening.”

It’s crushing to feel like you’re doing your job well only to be dealt a blow that is the equivalent of saying you haven’t been doing anything at all. But, what I tried to convince myself of on Friday and spent most of the weekend reiterating, is that defeat and failure are two entirely different animals, and I’m not allergic to either.

This morning I came in swinging like a champ and that’s all that’s really important. You can admit defeat and not fail. You can admit defeat and still win. And that’s what I plan on doing today.

Doctor Wholidays, Edible Star Wars, Dan Rad is Ginsberg (?!) & So Much More!

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*To start: 15 Unseen Characters on TV that we all know and love.

*What does an AT-AT taste like? Gingerbread, apparently. The best quote I’ve read regarding this amazing wintery treat: “That AT-AT is going to make me fat fat.”

*Where’s Waldo: The Feature Film, or The Worst Idea Ever, has gotten a screen writer. Shouldn’t have been too hard to find, since the entire movie will consist of two lines – “Where’s is he?” and “There he is!”

*If you’re reading this then you’re not really doing anything at all. Science deems it so!

*Video of Doctor Who cast members reading bedtime stories. Kind of ironic when you think of the episodes that definitely don’t help you sleep at night – DON’T BLINK! Ugh, but Martha Jones reads one, too. She was my absolute LEAST liked sidekick.

*WHAT THE – OHMYGOD -OH! Just make it stop! JUST MAKE IT STOP! I don’t know if you heard, but there’s this show called Virgin Diaries. A couple thought it would not only be an awesome idea not to have sex until marriage, but to wait to even KISS until their wedding day. And so their first ever kiss – with anyone – is…just awful. And you can watch it on tv! I don’t know what that kid thought he was doing, but the bride and all the guests look like they were *this close* to puking. And keep in mind that that’s just the kiss. As newly weds there are…other…things…they’ll be thinking about doing, and they’ll do it just as well as they did whatever the hell that was. I’m so creeped out right now. I think I need to go make out with some stranger in a bar just to put the stars back in alignment. Take a gander!
*Hey, everybody! London has a giant Lego Christmas Tree with Lego balls and all!
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*You know what makes the Doctor Who Christmas Special even better? A Doctor Who Christmas Special Marathon leading up to it! Whoooot!
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*If someone isn’t already working on a porn adaptation of this, they really, really need to get on the ball.
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*The three brothers Hanson all got married so young and just about immediately started poppin’ out babies. So in an attempt to support those budding families, they’re now selling…beer?
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*”Squeal like a pig! Squeeeeal like a pig!” Yeah, I don’t remember that guys name either, the actor or character, but it should be noted that he’s passed away. Must be one of the most quoted lines ever, next to “You got a real pretty mouth.” I say that one to my friends all the time.
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*There’s one thing that really super bothers me about Daniel Day Lewis playing Abraham Lincoln in an upcoming film: He looks more like Abraham Lincoln than Abe did. He’s going to be the first person to get an Oscar for a movie that hasn’t even come out yet.
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*So, Daniel Radcliffe is set to play Allen Ginsberg. After seeing the Harryest part of the Potter in Equus, I don’t question any of his roles any more. I’m sure he’ll do hung – WELL! I meant, I’m sure he’ll do well.
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*J.J. Abrams has decided to create a new female role for the Star Trek sequel. Some how I’m far more okay with this than when Peter Jackson created a new female role for The Hobbit. Is it necessary? We’ll have to see it to know for sure and, let’s face it, we’re all going to see it.
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*Can’t afford the $120+ Lego Millennium Falcon for your loved one (I sure as hell can’t!). Try one of these Do It Yourself Star Wars gifts! Love them alllllllllll.
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And I’m spent.

Holiday Tamales, Fashion Moment, and Siri Politics

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I’m not allergic to any thing. I’ve had a number of fancy and expensive doctors tell me this in the last couple of years. And they have all been full of shit. I had deviated septum surgery just over a year ago, because, said those expensive boys in lab coats, my severe allergy symptoms were being caused by my septum and swollen turbinates. Getting the surgery, they said, would be like breathing for the first time. Hot damn were those losers wrong. Since that time, my nose now rattles, I have worse allergy symptoms than ever before, and I’ve begun to develop sinus infections so bad that everything gets backed up to my ears and I then wind up with ear infections. A holiday season delight, let me tell you.

So that’s where I’ve been. Wrestling with the Devil in the Goo dress.

On Thursday I felt well enough to go into the office and not look like complete crap. I wore this:

Shirt by Anne Taylor loft. All the “ruching” hides the flibberty gibbity parts of my belly. The cardigan you’ve seen before and is the boyfriend cardigan by Mossimo, the skirt is “congratulations on being just shy of needing maternity ware” by Old Navy, but I love the cut. And I don’t want to jinx it, but I’ve worn it a good three times and it has yet to fall apart, so their child labor in Sri Lanka has gotten much better. The kids that made this skirt had the dexterity of 5 – maybe even 6 – years old. Awesome. Tights from WhereEverTheHell, and the shoes are my old favorite standby, which you’ve also seen before. And my hair is a Mess, and my face makeup done by Night Time Drool & Over Tired. Maybe my hair would’ve looked better if I used this Blow Dryer Hand Gun. Personally, I love the holster. Feel Badass AND Beautiful everyday. Or just feel the release of shooting yourself in the head with the power to still get up the next morning.

There’s a new Find the Bad Kitty, Holiday Edition beginning. It started today, so check it out.

Food wise, it’s holiday season in Texas, which means incredible homemade tamales gallore. I don’t make them, lord no. But almost every amazing Taqueria in town does and they are just ridicu-mazing. Obviously, that “ridiculously” and “amazing” ‘s baby. All porky and fatty and, oh, just great.

  

And, finally, I recently found out that Siri is pro-life, an issue we differ on. That being said, she’s also a total fucking slut, so maybe she needs to get her priorities straight.