* “Hello, Sweetie.” And I’m still freaking out about the Doctor Who video game. How good could it possibly be? Do I care if it’s not any good? I just want it NOW! New info: You get to be Dr. Riversong, or Melody Pond as it were. You have to have a PS3 or a PC to play it; XBox and Wii are left out of play time.
* Marky Ramone’s leather jacket is up for auction! This is an incredible, almost unbelievable item – especially since Marky says it’s not his. [WSJ]
* You know what’s GREAT? BBC’s Sherlock! You know what is proven time and time again to be completely shitty? The American studio mania over remaking that which the British already does well. CBS thinks it’s going to remake Sherlock. My personal thoughts on this are “Screw you, CBS,” – but I am not alone! Producers of the BBC program had been asked for American licensing, and , because they’re not stupid, they turned CBS down for the request. Now they are planning on moving forward to sue the Columbia Broadcasting System if the American Sherlock in any way resembles the BBC one. Why can’t we just embrace BBC America with open arms, people?! [Blastr]
* Humans aren’t the only mammals who hate paparazzi. Extremely rare and uncommonly photographed, a couple of snow leopards in the wilds of Tajikistan decided to steal one of eleven cameras setup to document the elusive cat. It’s nice to see a species on earth who isn’t an attention whore. [Inquistr]
Photo Credit Inquistr
* Speaking of attention whores, Miley Cyrus is an idiot who couldn’t scream louder for attention if she tried.
* Zachary Quinto told E! that he would like to return to American Horror Story. Personally, I believe that thicked-haired hunk of man meat needs to keep focus and his eyes on the prize: The Star Trek sequel. Once that’s squared away, then I will allow him to have outside interests. [E!]
* Speaking of Star Trek, a man who spent
waaaaay too much time and energy Almost $160,000 on turning a 500-square-foot apartment into a TNG version Enterprise is – shocker! – being divorced by his wife. This isn’t the heart breaking part. The heart break is the fact that the custom decor must be completely torn down, because it’s his wife who owns and pays the mortgage for his little obsession is no longer supporting a deadbeat man-child. I mean, she needs to move on. And that’s coming from someone who would love a TNG apartment. [Blastr]
* Ricky Gervais can’t get enough work these days. His Science channel series (Yes, Gervais and the Science Channel are working together), An Idiot Abroad 2: The Bucket List, is doing exceptionally well. Haven’t heard of it before? You’re not alone, but numbers on proving that the show is catching on fast. You can watch it on Saturdays, 10pm eastern. Me? I just really want to see Life’s Too Short. [TheHollywoodReporter]
* I happen to love Louis C. K., both the man and his show. People magazine, however, has writers on staff who very obviously have no clue what their subject matter is. And, one of the first rules of writing is if you don’t know anything about it, don’t write it. That is the worst description of everything Louie that I’ve ever read. [People]
* And, it’s finally happened: For the first time in Disney’s history, employees are finally allowed to sport facial hair. Never mind the fact that Walt himself had that rather prolific mustache, apparently he was a total dick about everyone else getting to sport some manly fuzz. [CBSNews]
Photo Credit WeHeartIt
I beat the Devil last night.
That’s the wrong phrase, I know; no one can beat the Devil. After all, everyone dies.
I was with a friend. I didn’t recognize him, but then I didn’t recognize myself either. I was in my friend’s car, a large SUV beast, entirely more room then anyone who isn’t a logger or parents to sextuplets needs. We had been out for a drive and stopped at a scenic overlook to talk and think and reflect. He was going through a divorce and I was experiencing a rough patch in my marriage. He would vent, I would question issues and actions, we would be silent.
And then I said something. I almost wish now that I could remember what it was – almost. But when I try to recall it’s as though someone dubbed over my voice. It was hastily erased and then crudely dubbed over in an obvious manner. What ever I did say had depth and weight and seemed to echo or reverberate in the car and change the air itself.
When I went to continue my companion held up his hand to stop me.
“Shhh!” He seemed to be listening for something, but didn’t want to look around for its source.
“What?” I demanded, nervously chuckling.
“He’s here.” My friend, visibly shaken, started the car and began barreling down the road.
“…Wha?…” I asked slowly, stiffening as I realized what I had done. I simply felt it, as my friend had.
You see that sentence I spoke, the one I can’t remember, conjured the Devil. Back in the ‘80’s there was a TV series called The Storyteller and one of the episodes featured the tale of a man who could look through a glass of water and see Death sitting at the foot of a person’s bed. I remember thinking about that, thinking if I looked in the back seat I might see the Devil, but if I looked into the rear-view mirror I knew I would see him staring at me. I couldn’t bring myself to do either.
Satan as depicted by Botticelli
Photo credit Fishing
As we flew down the road, destination unspoken, I gripped the side of my seat.
“What do I do?” I asked wide eyed, scared.
“I don’t know, but he’s here for you.”
“What?! What did I say? Will he go away?” I practically shouted.
“I don’t know!” my friend barked. He was scared, too. “Maybe,” he continued forcing himself back to calm, “Maybe you have to be content. You’re looking for new and shiny things to make you happy. He feeds on anger and unrest. Maybe you have to prove that you’re happy with what you’ve got.”
I thought about this as we drove, digesting each word, feeling the Devil’s stare boring holes into the back of my head. What my friend had said was all true and looked to be my only option, for the time being. After all, most times you see the Devil it’s because somebody wants something so bad they’re making a deal with him. I was going to have to figure out something. It wasn’t my pride that made me want to rid myself of the Devil. It was a feeling of being spoiled and desperate for humility.
My friend dropped me off at my house. I stood a moment outside looking nervously at my home. I thought of my boyfriend inside. Though I hadn’t heard him exit the car, I knew the Devil had gotten out of the SUV when I had stepped out. I knew he was standing just behind my right shoulder. And though I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, I knew he was smiling.
I walked to the front door and let myself in. There was my boyfriend: kind, warm, and welcoming. Though he doesn’t normally cook, he had dinner made and was preparing to dish everything out. And my boyfriend, so naturally truly happy, couldn’t see the Devil as we walked in together.
This is where things get disappointingly hazy. I could feel a malcontent emotion welling in my stomach. I had the sudden desperate urge to shout at my boyfriend while he was setting the table, like I needed to get something out.
I needed more.
The house projects needed to be completed.
We needed to spend money.
He lacked motivation.
My boyfriend didn’t argue, he just listened. Each word I spat made me angrier, I didn’t know where it was all coming from and yet it had all been there the whole time…and at the same time each comment made me heavy with guilt. I had to stop. I stepped back, though a shadow of myself remained shouting.
The guilt; everything I said was needless and wrong. It was then, while watching myself attempt to argue needless wants and justify unnecessary needs with a boyfriend who was willing to give me the world, that the Devil became satisfied. I could feel him content, so sure was he that he had won – that he would be taking me away – that he called his mistress to my home to join in my downward spiral.
I looked at him this time. I needed to see the smile I could feel spread across his etched and leathery face. I could see his mistress merely watching and standing at the door, disappointed in her own existence, but not above watching the destruction of others.
I looked at my boyfriend, who had all the while been trying to please me for no other reason then he loved me. My throat closed so fast I struggled to swallow. I looked down in shame and the shouting shadow was gone.
“No,” I said quietly.
“What?” asked my boyfriend politely. The Devil cautiously dropped his smile and knitted his brow.
“No, Chip, I was wrong.”
“What?” repeated my boyfriend, confused.
“I’m sorry I want so much. We have so much already – everything else is superfluous. I see that now. I want simply because I have nothing else to do. I feel stuck and just want things for happiness, but that’s wrong and I see that. I see what’s created from it. The projects we started will get done eventually. We don’t need anything new. I’m – I’m sorry. I’ve been so wrong.”
The Devil was angry now. I watched him move toward the door. I sat down in my chair at the dining table and took a breath. I closed my eyes believing prematurely that it was over, that the Devil would leave me be.
When I opened my eyes there was the Devil inches from my face. Only now my boyfriend could see him as well and was frozen in fear. Moving so quickly it took all of a moment the Devil shaved my head. I stood up, leveling his glare, not angry for the loss of my hair, but angry for knowing that I had done the right thing and the Devil just wanted to have the final move after the game had ended.
“Went for my head? Miss his?” I tilted my head toward my boyfriend’s shoulder length locks, much longer then mine even before the shave.
The Devil picked up on my sarcasm and seemed nervous. I took a quick stomp toward him taking advantage of the upper hand while I had it. Speaking as wholly as I could, I shook as I told the Devil “Stay away from my home and stay away from my family.” I half shouted, half growled.
Angry now the Devil pounded to the door. With one look back he and his mistress were gone.
And that’s how I beat the Devil, though I know that’s the wrong term.
Archangel Michael slays Satan (Raphael)
Photo Credit Logoi
This is a dream I had this past Autumn and my reasoning for it’s clarity, yet bizarre aspect was this:
I blame that funky dream and others I’ve been having (like the cupcake-jello race car from two nights ago) on the heat. My boyfriend and I are from the Northeast, but have lived the last few years in Texas. At halfway through October I am really bitterly against the 90 degree days and I’ve found us both “willing” the season to actually become autumn. I’ve been burning candles called Fallen Leaves, Chip has been drinking Pumpkin beer and we’ve been trying to sleep with the windows cracked instead of using the AC. I hate the AC, but sleeping without it means I wake up at 1am, both Chip and I drenched in sweat, the blankets kicked to the floor and the thermostat reading in the mid 80’s.
So it must be the heat.
Though I could have had this particular dream because it’s true.
I got Pop Bytes comin’ out the wazoo today!
* Don’t want to make a regular turkey for Thanksgiving this year? Try making Meat Cupcakes!…On second thought, don’t.
* A doll sold by Toys R Us giggles and coos and calls you a Crazy Bitch.
* New Arrested Development is super confirmed. They’ll be comin’ at ya through Netflix Streaming in 2013. It’s going to be quite the year for movies and TV! Personally, I think to commemorate this, Ben and Jerry’s should come out with a flavor called “The Money’s in the Banana Stand”. It would be banana ice cream, with little chocolate dollars/coins, and peanuts! When it comes to food, especially fatty foods, I can kinda be a genius some times.
* The Walking Dead does not share accurate information about the Morning After Pill. Please tell me the American Public isn’t so dim that it would take medical advice from zombies. Talk to your doctor.
* Good news: The first Hobbit trailer is upon us. The bad news: You may have to go see the Sherlock Holmes sequel in order to see it. Speaking of Holmes, when are more Sherlock (the BBC series) going to come out?! Here’s a bit of cool trivia that excites me: The Hobbit trailer will be seen with the Sherlock Holmes movies, yeah? Well, Bilbo Baggins and the voice of Smaug in the film Hobbit are Watson and Sherlock, respectively, in the BBC series Sherlock!!! Awesome, right? I know. It’s badass.
* Need nerdy ornaments for your tree? My personal collection far out strips this little list from Blastr, but theirs is still a collection worth noting.
* Aren’t Engagement photos lame? Yeah, they are. But not these. Nope. These are Star Wars inspired engagement photos. The exact thing needed to prove to your family that you’re mature enough to get married. Awesome.
* NPR has put together the ultimate Thanksgiving playlist, for those who are itchy to pull the trigger the Holiday music gun, but know their family will kill them. I might be talking about me.
*Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you should know by now that Neil Gaiman was on the Simpsons this past Sunday. I love Neil Gaiman. I’ve been reading his work since I was 14 years old, back when my parents had to limit the number of comic books I could buy each week. Remember: I did have a part time job at that age. And I realized something recently about Mr. Gaiman: he is wicked hot. He is definitely my older man crush. So, when I say I love him….
* Someone decided they wanted to know what it would sound like to play every Beatles song ever at the same time. Hidden message from the Devil? Maybe. Hipster nonsense? A bit more like it.
* I don’t know if there really is a hidden alien in every single South Park episode, but it’s a study I’m willing to take on.
* Finally, don’t get divorced. Just sell your spouse on Craigslist like this
batshit crazy genius woman did.