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Today I turn 30 and – OH MY GOD STAR TREK NEWS!!!

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I was going to do this post about life and crap, and maybe I still will later, but for now…

SPOILER ALERT! If you don’t want to hear about Star Trek 2 RIGHT NOW, then go away.

Okay?

Good. It’s about to get real.

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH IS KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

I mean, we knew that. You knew it, I knew it, we all felt it. Like falling in love with someone you shouldn’t. People deny it, tell you it’s wrong, but you wake up in the morning and there it is:

Cumberbatch is Khan.

Awesome.

A big thank you to Sarah B. for making my morning a little more exciting.

Unemployment went down. So what?

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It was announced yesterday that unemployment dropped to 8.5% with 200,000 jobs added to the workforce.

At first seemingly positive, that 8.5% still doesn’t account the hundreds of thousands of American’s who have long since stopped looking for work. And we’re still millions of jobs behind where we need to be for a healthy economy. Growing health care costs and having an entire generation or so of people who are simply unable to retire isn’t helping our economy either.

The American Dream is becoming the American Joke. We’re grasping to an idea that we are simply awesome when the facts remain:

Our kids are obese.

Our jobs are non-existant.

The government as a whole does not care about the well being of the taxpayers. It has not occurred to them that keeping workers healthy means that taxes roll in on high.

Our Rich are richer than ever and the middle class is falling away to disappear all together.

Those that think they can lead the country are the worst human beings, ignorant and racist.

In the fall of 2010 Academy Award nominated graffiti artist named Banksy created a new introduction sequence for the Simpsons. He sums up American Life unapologetically and it’s amazing to look at it now.

When Banksy’s intro first came out it seemed exaggerated to an extent (we all know that unicorn hooves are glittered, not plain gray). We live a privileged life style, even those of us in rougher spots. Few of us are the individuals lucky enough to be given one of those record Wall Street bonuses being handed out this past quarter, but if you’re lucky enough to be in front of a computer someplace reading this – or, better yet, accessing this from your phone – then you probably have something in your life to be thankful for, even if it’s just your own work ethic.

But it has changed. We are unapologetic consumers still, but the life the Simpsons have is what many now aspire to. They live an above average middle class lifestyle, with a four bedroom home, and a household in which only one parent needs to work. Many of us currently have  to buy goods from other countries because we are unable to afford the same items manufactured here.

Not enough people have jobs and those who do are often not making enough money. Even Tom Brokaw is so shocked by our outsourcing and American lifestyle that his advice to new grads is to search elsewhere for work: “elsewhere” as in other countries.

What is “enough”, though? I want to have a child. I know I do not make enough for that. I want to pay off my school loans and to have enough in savings that if faced with an emergency or a lost job, I could survive for a couple months, but I don’t make enough for that either. I do have plenty of stuff, though, and while it’s less than many others, it’s still more than I need. I have a game system, but it’s a five year od We have had to pay a price as American’s to have the things we have. The price is guilt and gluttonism. We have swelled, fat CEO’s lording over corporations that now have more rights as humans that homosexuals that want us to spend more, but won’t pay us enough to go to the doctor if we’re sick; ironic considering that if we are to spend money, we have to be well enough to earn a paycheck.

I don’t mean to confuse issues. We’re down and out, but still above many. We’re clinging to ideals that have to change in order to move forward. But we do have to move forward, so wasting political time trying to inhibit civil liberties, bringing race into issues in which it has no place are really far from what we need as a nation to better ourselves. There are two issues that keep coming up in debates that I just don’t want to see any more time wasted on. Neither are helping the present situation.

Let all have equal rights. You’re human, you’re entitled to certain rights, and we’re all equal. Period. Granting a contributing, intelligent, good person the to marry the individuals they love (who merely happen to be the same sex as them) will not cause other people to demand the right to marry ducks. Get over your bullshit causes, your own personal lack of self-esteem, and your want to keep others beneath you. Basic human rights. Don’t waste my time insinuating that keeping these people as lesser citizens is actually good for our nation as a whole.

Yes, the welfare program in this nation needs to be seriously revamped, but it is not a race-based system. Black people are not the only people on welfare, so it would make a great example and really to a nation good if you stopped insinuating that fact. And it does a shit ton of good for American’s of all races. Move along.

What is really important is lessening the gap between the classes, creating jobs, making healthcare accessible, and funding schools. Better lives for all, a booming economy dripping with profits, healthy people working hard for the decent lives they’re thankful to have, and future generations who might actually be useful and competitive to other nations.

The gap between the classes is ever widening. We were angered and nauseated by the working conditions in this nation during and immediately after the American Industrial Revolution, but now we’re hard pressed to acknowledge that worse conditions persevere in countries all over the world in factories owned and operated by American companies. Unfortunately, we’ve come to a point where we have to have cheaper clothing and home goods because it’s all we can afford. We’re dependent on those conditions due to this huge gap.

Food costs have grown since Banksy’s film, but my salary has not. I can’t contribute to purchasing American made items in American factories because I can’t afford it, which makes me a huge part of the problem. I want to help, but I don’t know how. And the politicians I see are not concerned about this. They throw around the term “job creation” placing huge exclamation points at the end of it, but they’re not actually ever saying anything. They never actually express a real solution to this issue because doing so would been admitting that the politicians and the corporations that fund them would have to sacrifice a small portion of their already bloated salaries themselves. Oh, the horror. And we don’t need just simply “job creation”. It’s more than that.

Other than that, politicians seem to spend the rest of their time concerned with making a religious group happy that I personally do not subscribe to. Worse yet is that what apparently are the primary concerns of that group is inconsequential to what it really takes to live a good life in the United States. I am a good person. I’m honest, I work hard, I treat my fellow man well, I don’t steal. I understand that an allegiance to a specific sect is not what makes a person good. That has nothing to do with it. And I’m tired of hearing people say they’re going to vote for SoAndSo because he’s Christian. There are many politicians that claim to be “good” Christian Republicans, and they’re banking on the ignorant vote.

So, as far as the economy goes, as far as achieving a decent life for Americans, I don’t know what to do.

I know it’s best to stay away from non-American made goods, but I don’t even make enough money to dress as professionally as I should. It’s the same reason I don’t eat exclusively all organic or local foods. It’s a frustrating cycle and one I’m sure will eventually destroy us as a people. I am not shocked or surprised by how Banksy or other people in other nations very us. I’m just shamed.

I am thankful for the life I lead, after all I have a job. It is an employers world, however, and I am constantly reminded that I am a dime a dozen. It does nothing for morale, but I am thankful I have work. I like working hard so that my boyfriend, who also works hard, and I can have a life together. I’m not sure I would have children while living in the United States, because I hate the idea of them having no or very little health care. I also have very real feelings about a nation that puts the occupation of other nations above education, and as someone who has worked in the public school system and has a Masters degree in education, I can’t stand for compromised education for my kids.

I love this country. I lived in four states, driven back and forth across country four times. And I really want to support it. But I just don’t think it, or at least the people who run the US, care about me, or anyone else within its borders, any more.

So the unemployment rate has gone down. So what?

David Cross + Warhol + Jack White + More

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*David Cross is coming to Austin tomorrow. If you’re just finding this out now, I should tell you: you’ve got no chance to see him. On Monday the Alamo Drafthouse announced David Cross would be hosting a marathon of The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. Tickets went on sale on Wednesday and sold out in 8 minutes.

I highly recommend catching Poor Decisions when you can. It airs on IFC and, like Portlandia, it’s not your usual comedy. It’s quite refreshing in a How-I-Met-Your-Mother-2-And-A-Half-Crappy world.

*Andy Warhol, a hero to the Hipster Movement everywhere, just got extra hipstery. You can now carry your MacBookAir or iPad around in his face. No, nothing is sacred, thanks for asking. [Incase]

* Andy Serkis deserves an Oscar! I’m not the only one who thinks so; Fox has launched a campaign with quite the emotionally moving ad in an attempt to get the man some well deserved gold. [Blastr]

* Jack White is collaborating with Tom Jones. That makes sense. No, really, I bet it will be an incredible work. Jack White is an amazing guitarist and song writer and Tom Jones is classic and has stood the test of time…it’s just every time I see Jack White all I can think is “You slept with Renee Zellweger,” and that grosses me out. [24Bit]

* “And in other news, I love Lamp,” actually happened live on the news.

 

For the Pop Day of Xmas GeekFat Gave to Thee…

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* Holiday cheer for everyone: Telemarketers and robo-calls will now have access to your cell phone number. Awesome! I love paying for the calls I hate to get. [MSNBC] 

To help you get over the complete loss of privacy, I give you a parrot singing the Mario Bros theme song.

* As if I didn’t need yet another reason to get a PS3 stat, there is now a Doctor Who video game coming out! In what can only be called the utmost of teases, the BBC and Supermassive Games hint at a Doctor Who video game with almost no details. And it’s completely enough to send me into a Time and Relative Dimensions in Space tizzy! [ToplessRobot]

*In A Touch of Evil, director Alex Prager depicts various well known actors and actresses as evil, violent characters. Many really (and creepily) give these little vignettes their all. And, based on usual celebrity events, it’s exactly how I would expect them to act when getting kicked off a plane. [NewYorkTimes]

* NPR’s MonkeySee has compiled a list of the unhappiest commentators you’ll find in the year end best-of lists on the internet. And every type listed is rather accurate. I know which one I am, which one are you? Yeah, you are. Yes, you are. Embrace the self loathing. One of us. One of us. [NPR MonkeySee]

*An incredibly dedicated fan created a stop motion, shot for shot remake of the opening 6 minutes of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

* Doctor Who topped the iTunes charts for Most Popular TV Shows of 2011. It’s the first time in iTunes history that virgin nerds have gained such popularity. [Blastr]

* That’s dedication! To complete her look for Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Rooney Mara pierced her nipples. Let me just repeat that: the chick that dumped Jessie Eisenberg’s character at the beginning of The Social Network pierced her nipples to truly get in touch the role of Lisbeth Salander. In other news, the dolphin from Dolphin Tale was not an amputee prior to filming. [Inquistr]

* The Rock of Ages trailer has hit the internet. I know nothing about this movie other than it’s based on the Broadway show, but apparently it’s gonna be epic. Everyone, but your mom is in this and Tom Cruise has a crazy chest tattoo. Not being as dedicated as Mara, however, the tatt is not the real deal. Cruise worked extra hard at this role after missing out on his true calling, playing Edna Turnblad in Hairspray, an opportunity stolen by the equally closeted John Travolta. Did I say ‘closeted’? I meant talented. Sure I did.

* Simon Pegg, author of Nerd Do Well and overall cinema greatness, is as much a geek as he his a human. This makes Pegg quite possibly the most excited person alive for the upcoming Star Trek sequel, especially since he’ll be reprising his role as Scotty. But should he really have let it slip that Khan is not in the sequel script? [Blastr]

* Karl Frisch of the Cagle Post wrote a fantastic article on the 12 Days of Republican Christmas. All are fantastically dead on, and this write up is as funny as it is depressingly true. How can other nations not see our entire government as a laughing stock right now? Granted we’re not the only nation with issues, but our entire government needs to take a giant Xanax/Prilosec combo pill and face some harsh realities. [Cagle Post]

…But this whole 12 Days of Republican Crap has got me thinking. What about the 12 days of Absurdly Geek? Well, I’m starting them here and now. And since I missed the start of the 12 days (that would have been yesterday, Mr. Mathematician), I owe your two today. I’m not saying you’re getting two; I’m just acknowledging a debt.

On the First Day of Christmas GeekFat endorsed to thee…

Nothing. Because I wasn’t on the ball.

On the Second Day of Christmas GeekFat endorsed to thee…

Two Wookie mating calls done on TV.

Check back tomorrow for more and feel free to follow on Twitter, @ChicGeekDaily .

This Is Your Brain on Pop Bytes

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And here we go.

* The Evil Dead is not only definitely being remade, but it even has a 2013 release date. Seriously, Hollywood, enough with the needless remakes. Come up with something original, Lord knows there are enough screenplays out there floating around. Bruce Campbell is my one and only Ash. Evil Ded Redone  = This I don’t need. [MovieWeb]

* The viral marketing for the next installment of the Batman franchise, The Dark Knight Rises, has begun. Bane has leaked, as well as pictures of Cat Woman stealing the Bat Bike, Joseph Gordan Levitt as a cop in the Gotham snow…There’s so much spilled about the internet regarding this movie that I may very well be bored with the film long before it comes out. [Wired]

* I sense….I sense you ache for the magically morbid for your day…I sense… Bizarro Magician Deaths – with pictures! [HuffingtonPost]

*A New York based artist claims to have found animal images in the background of DaVinci’s Mona Lisa. You don’t want to know what he saw in Georgia O’Keeffe’s Black Iris. [ABC News]

* Gifts for that Star Trek fan of yours. Be warned: that Romulan Ale tastes like it came out of a faulty replicator. [Blastr]

* Star Trek gifts not your style? How about a pregnant virgin Mary ornament? It’s an oxymoron in blown glass! I mean, a miracle. [HufingtonPost]

*A Hermes crocodile handbag sold for over $200,000 at a Heritage Auction this week. The hearing impaired buyer was immensely disappointed to find the item was, in fact, just a crocodile purse and not the Chocodile Hearse he thought he was purchasing.

* The newest enticing chat coming from the rumor mills is that the iPad 3 will hit us in February of 2011. That’s good, because I’m so over the iPad 2. It’s not like I spend my days comparing every tablet to it, using my coworkers’ every chance I get, drooling over it…imaging the two of us on vacation in Tahiti: “Oh, iPad2, you’re so funny!…Put some lotion on my back?” [NewYorkPost]

* Kermit the Frog was recently interviewed regarding the future of the Muppets. Noticeably absent from the article was any news on the current whereabouts of Uncle Traveling Matt. [MTV Geek]

* Rick Perry is now aware of all of his many, many shortcomings as a presidential hopefully. In light of this epiphany, he’s now clawing desperately at the Christian Rite in an attempt to maintain votes. His recent “Strong” video is not only incredibly offensive, but also mocktastic!

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* I think everyone every where should totally feel bad for the below storm trooper. You may be out of work, but at least when you lost your job, you were just laid off.

And a final note in awesome news:

* An extended 8 minute trailer has been released for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Willing to read subtitles? You can see an amazing film adaptation of the book on Netflix streaming right now.

A Little Pop-Me-Up for Your Day

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*People are just the worst: In an attempt to help a fellow traveler in distress, Gary Koelling allowed a man from Switzerland to check into a hotel using Koelling’s credit card. The free check-in wound up costing Koelling $41,000 or six nights at a ritzy New York City hotel, plus incidentals at just over $6,833 dollars a night. What does this teach us about helping our fellow man? Stick to reviewed and established charities, and when in trouble as a tourist, contact the local police department or embassy. Especially in New York.[Gawker]


*Speaking of horrible people, if you’re wondering what to get those hated ones on you list, look no further: Gifts for People You Hate is bound to have the perfect present for the people in your life you just can’t stand.

*Facebook bought Gowalla. What does this mean exactly? It means that if you enjoy using Gowalla you have less than a month to continue doing so before Facebook completely shuts it down. Someone might want to let Mark Zuckerburg that a little competition is healthy. [CNN Tech]

*In other news, delightful science has attributed smoking cigarettes to loss of nipples. You read that correctly. Apparently there has been a correlation between smoking and nipples falling off on women who have had their breasts lifted (though I assume it could happen to breast lifted men as well). Smoking is bad for you, people! When will we finally get that through our thick skulls?!  Though, maybe this is giving hope to those individuals with superfluous nips, such as Lily Allen, Chandler Bing, and Krusty the Clown. [The Chart]

*The Muppets are pure good. Like, good for your soul good. In their latest flick they put on a telethon to help others and, so often, helping others in need is the message they send out (with the exception of giving a stranger your credit card. Duh.). While many would find this message of hope and brotherly love heartwarming, those [insert any expletive here] at Fox Business “News” slammed the Muppet creators and writers for having an anti-capitalistic agenda. Of course. Which is why all dvd sales and movie tickets were non-profit based. And why the muppets weren’t completely portrayed as rich in the film. Of course, now those last two points are just flat-out lies, like what spews from the mouths of the “reporters” on Fox. And I recommend not reading the comments on this particular article. You’ll waste both energy and brain cells. [Blastr]
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*Ugh. That last Pop Byte made me all cranky. Let’s bring a little joy into our hearts with a list of what gifts to get that comic book fan in your life! I, for one, would love a pair of Wonder Woman socks even though, let’s face it, she really got the short stick when it came to gadgetry. A lasso that makes people tell the truth?! Insert stalker girlfriend joke here. [GeekOut]
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Universal Studios Theme Park in Orlando is  kissing their Jaws ride goodbye, along with a few other historical notables. I hate to see Jaws go, it was a classic albeit expected, but what, pray tell, might Universal be thinking? Well, Stage Two, of course – Stage Two of Harry Potter the Wizarding Experience. Man, the kids that acted in those movies are set for life and they’re barely old enough to sophomores in college. [The Baltimore Sun]
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*J.J. Abrams, you’re tearing me apart! The newest Star Trek gunk churned out from the rumor mills is that Benicio Del Toro will not be the villain in the Star Trek sequel, but the evil character will, in fact, be KHAAAAAAN! I like Khan, I remember Khan, and to this day I hate the idea of bugs in or near my ears because of Khan. But I was equally excited to see what Benicio Del Toro could have done with a part in Star Trek. Good things we have, like, a million years for things to change before the movie comes out (May 2013). [Blastr]
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*And the Star Trek news doesn’t stop there. Peter Weller has signed on to act in the upcoming sequel right as Benicio  signed off. Can’t put a face to Weller? That’s probably because so few people have actually seen it: He was RoboCop. [Variety] I wonder if they’ll do those awesome RoboCop ads, too…
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*While we’re discussing aliens, do you think you might have ever been abducted? Than look no further – Here’s a list of six telltale signs that you’ve been taken by extraterrestrials at some point in your life! Be careful in your analysis, though. Many of these symptoms are similar to a hot night out on the town with your good friend Jack Daniels. [TheSmokingJacket]
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*Nothing makes me cringe more than “ironic fashion”…except for maybe ironic facial hair… Anyway, hipsters every where line up in droves each year to purchase bad holiday sweaters from Salvation Army, Buffalo Exchange, and other used clothing gold mines. I myself bought one from Tee Fury yesterday, actually, but it was a t-shirt of a bad holiday sweater so it doesn’t count (okay, fine, it does. Judge away.). Designers are now totally in on this trend and currently sell – at insane prices – horrible holiday sweaters. If I could ever afford anything from the Stella McCartney line, the last thing it I would purchase is an ironically bad sweater. Ugh. [Fashionista]
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*Sure, I can make Peking Duck, but it would be far tastier as a Peking Romulan Bird of Prey! Cooking needs no longer to be unGeeky with these fantastic Kitchen accoutrements. Be it an Enterpriseing pizza, darth cookies, or needing your drinks on the rocks with a Gotham feel, we’ve got your cocina needs met. Just yet another list of gift ideas for the Michelin starred nerd in your home. [Blastr]
*It amazes me how so many nations can remain so incredibly sheltered in today’s day and age. I take my technological outlets and freedom of press for granted far too often. I say this because Saudi Arabi has announced it believes giving women the right to drive will cause them to have promiscuous sex. I can’t even begin to crack jokes on this. Cultural differences are one thing, but oppression is merely oppression. Besides, it’s the back of parked station wagon’s that cause promiscuous sex, not the act of driving itself. [HuffingtonPost]